"You mean, when do we leave. We need you on this one again, Hilde. Basically these new mobile suits that are being designed have an awesome tactical knowledge and way more firepower than anything OZ ever built. We need to get that data."
"Then Heero's going as well?" she asked. "Yeah."
She didn't say anything else. Though two months had passed since Duo had woken up from his coma he was still recovering from her confession, that she had been with Heero while he was under. Both Hilde and Heero had explained what happened to him, though he had to almost pry it out of Hilde originally. They both had realized their mistakes, and Duo had forgiven them. Heero even promised to stay away, and Hilde insisted there were no feelings between them. But even now Duo was still a little uneasy bringing up Heero's name.
"Well, we're meeting up with Trowa and Heero at 1900 hrs. Quatre and Wu-Fei are already on their way." "Let's go, then," Hilde replied as she rose from the couch.
*****
Hilde said nothing on the flight as Duo chatted away. She realized she was
feeling a little queasy. She had never been ill on space-flight
before-almost since her time of birth she had been flying. A nagging thought
began to put pieces together in the back of her mind. You're feeling queasy.
You haven't been sick but you had a dizzy spell earlier this week. And you
skipped your period. That's not unusual, but you've skipped it again-it was
due last week. She shrugged to herself. She was on the pill, and after all
of what Duo went through, she probably was just stressed out. She had
skipped periods before when she was under stress, and she was active and
small for seventeen.
"Hey, you ok there?"
"Yeah, Duo, I'm fine." "Pre-mission jitters?" "Nope. I'll be fine." She
looked him in the eye and smiled. He smiled back. He secretly wondered if
working with Heero would be a little too much, considering what had
happened. Nah, they'll be fine. I'll be around, and though things happened
before, I trust them. I have to.
*****
She was clicking away at the computer, retrieving the data with a stolen
password from Heero. So far things were good. Heero had looked at her in the
same way he had before, and she hadn't thought about him that much. They had
a mission to accomplish and they were well on their way. Duo was guarding
the door behind her.
"Shit, Hilde, hurry up!" he called to her. She frowned. Something must have gone wrong. "Quatre's been shot," she heard Trowa calling. "It's not bad," Quatre protested. Hilde finished saving and turned off the monitor. "I didn' t get it all but I hope I got enough." She stood up and suddenly felt faint. "Hilde?" Duo turned back to her just in time to see her fall, like a feather, to the floor.
*****
"Ouch," Hilde muttered as a bright light was turned on. She opened her
eyes, blinking, trying to shield them from the light. "Hello Hilde," a
familiar voice said behind her. "Sallie. What happened? Did I get injured?"
"No, you're just fine, just a dizzy spell." "Oh my God-Duo-Quatre?" "They're
all fine," Sallie reassured her, coming forward now so that Hilde could see.
"Quatre was shot in the arm and is recovering nicely. Duo's waiting
outside."
"How come he's not in here with me?" Hilde demanded. "Well, I thought we could chat first. Hilde, you're at least two months pregnant." Hilde's mouth dropped open. "That's impossible-I'm on the pill!" "Well, the pill's only about 98% effective, and you have to constantly take it. If you miss one, it can screw up your system and actually make you more fertile. With all the stress you were under with Duo, is it possible you forgot?" Hilde pondered that. She did remember a day or two where she couldn't be sure that she had remembered to take her pill that afternoon.
Suddenly she thought of something that sent shivers down her spine. "Sallie, can you tell me what day the baby was conceived?" Sallie shook her head. "I can give you a ball park, but even today we're not always correct about that-you'd know better than I would."
Hilde took a deep breath. "Sallie, there's something you should know, then. There's a possibility-God I hope not-that Duo's not the father." Sallie's eyes narrowed. "What?" Hilde nodded, looking down at her hands folded in front of her. "You remember how Heero and I were avoiding each other? That's because when he stayed with me, something happened between us. It was completely an accident, and we both stayed away from each other afterwards. Duo knows now, and he's forgiven us." She took a deep breath, then drew her knees up to her chest. "How will he take this?"
"But you're not sure that Duo's not the father," Sallie added. Hilde nodded. Duo and her had slept together less than two weeks after she had with Heero. "Well, we can't do anything now but we can do a blood test after the child is born."
She looked at Hilde sternly and took her hand. "Hilde, do you want to have this child?" Hilde looked up at Sallie, tears glimmering in her eyes. "Yes, I do. I have always wanted to have children, but I didn't expect to be pregnant at seventeen."
"I've got a friend who is an ob-gyn who can be trusted to keep your medical records confidential and hidden." Hilde nodded. Sallie was the Gundam's personal doctor for their missions, but she was a surgeon. "Are you going to tell Duo?"
Hilde nodded. "But when I get home. Then I guess somehow I'll have to tell Heero." "Hilde, if you need anything, you know you can call me." She smiled. "Thanks, Sallie."
*****
Duo helped her walk out to the car. "Duo, I'm fine, really." "I just want
to be sure. I was so scared, you know. We all got out fine, and the data you
got was very helpful for us." "I'm glad."
She didn't say anything else on the way home. Duo kept looking at her. Something is bothering her, and I don't like it when she keeps stuff inside. Duo thought back to when she had confessed about Heero. I know she wouldn't do that again. I know her, don't I?
Hilde walked into the house, followed by Duo. She turned around and faced him. "Duo, we need to talk." He nodded. At least she was going to tell him, whatever it was. They sat down in the living room on the couch, Hilde turning to him, but keeping her face down.
"I'm pregnant."
Duo jumped. "What was that?" She looked at him in the eyes now. "I'm
pregnant, Duo." Duo's eyes lit up. "That's wonderful!" He squeezed her
tight. She laughed a little. "Duo, please, let me finish." He let go of his
embrace but took her hands in his. She smiled, but a tear escaped her eye.
"Duo, I'm not completely sure that you're the father."
At this, Duo's smile faded, but he kept holding her hands. "Oh?" was finally all he could manage to say.
"Yeah. Sallie said that she could give me a ballpark but not an exact date, and I'm just around two months." "Wait a minute," Duo interjected. "I thought you were on the pill?" "I did as well, but I guess with everything going on I may have forgotten to take one."
They sat in silence for a few minutes. "I guess you need to tell Heero, then." "Yeah. Would it-would it be ok if I went and told him in person?" Duo raised her chin so that she was looking in his eyes. "Hilde, I trust you. I love you so much." "Do you know where he is, then? I haven't asked because I-I just didn't want to bring it all up." "Yeah, he's on Earth now-living with Relena." "Really?" "Yeah, though he insists nothing has happened between them, he's just staying with her to protect her." Duo paused for a minute. "Do you want me to go with you?" "No, Duo, I think I should go alone. We'll need to talk about what to do if he is the father."
At this, Duo frowned. "What will you do if he is the father?" "Duo," she said, taking his hands again. "You're the one I'm with, you're the one I love. I'm not going to leave you, ever. But if Heero is the father, we've got to talk about this. And right now I think it would be better if we did this alone." Duo said nothing more. Hilde finally rose from the couch. "I'm going to pack and try to catch a flight out tomorrow morning, if I can." "When will you be back, then?" She looked at Duo. "Duo, I am coming back. Sweetie, I'll only be gone two days tops. I just want to tell him and talk about what this means, and I might talk to Relena, since it's been a while. You said you trust me." "I do, I do." "Well, then let me go pack." Duo sighed as she walked away. What would he do if Heero turned out to be the father? Could he really stay knowing that this child wasn't his, knowing that Heero would be around a lot, that his girlfriend and Heero shared a child together?
*****
Hilde stared out the window as the shuttle approached Earth. She had only
been to Earth twice before and every time she went she couldn't help but be
in awe of the planet's beauty. While she had been born and raised on L2 she
couldn't help but love the Earth.
Duo had kissed her goodbye when she left that morning, but his kiss had been cold, almost with feeling. She decided not to comment on it and just left. It's going to be a long, bumpy road, she thought to herself. If Duo's still with me at the end I'll consider myself lucky. But he knows I love him and that I am so sorry that he got hurt. But I can't say I'm sorry about Heero, especially if he's the father of this child.
The shuttle landed and she hailed a taxi, heading for the Peacecraft residence. The driver seemed surprised. "You know that place has tight security. The head of security there-I've had a run-in with him-some guy was trying to get in to get a picture of Miss Relena a month back-and this guy-he looks young, like you, but he pummeled this guy like he was pudding!" Hilde smiled. Heero wasn't head of security but he would pass as that if someone was harassing Relena, she was sure of it.
They arrived at the main gate, and Hilde was given clearance. The taxi pulled up to the main doors and she got out, paying the driver and thanking him. The yellow cab pulled away and Hilde turned to see Relena running out of the front doors.
"Hilde, it's so good to see you!"
"Relena!" She hugged her friend tightly. They hadn't seen each other much
but Hilde was always glad to see her. Relena was the sort of girl that Hilde
knew if they had met in school she would have hated, but because of
different circumstances, and their connections with the Gundam pilots, they
had become close friends. They entered and Relena led her to a comfortable
sitting room.
"I was so surprised to hear that you were at our front gate! Duo didn't come with you?" Hilde shook her head as she sipped the cup of tea Relena had given her. "No. I came here on personal business. Actually, I need to talk to Heero but I also wanted to see you, since it had been so long."
Relena nodded, but looked a bit puzzled. Why would she want to see Heero? Well, they did just participate in a mission together and they had in the past, and Duo was his best friend, so it wasn't that unusual.
"So when did Heero move in?"
At this, Relena smiled and forgot her puzzlement. "About a month and a half
ago. He just showed up one day and said he needed to talk. You see, Hilde,
after the war he stayed away, and I thought he didn't love me. Then he just
showed up and I pushed him away. I didn't want him coming here if he just
felt guilty. But then later I felt guilty for-for-well, Hilde, sometimes I
forget that Heero is a regular human being and that I am as well. Sometimes
I slip back into my spoiled princess attitude, and that's not who I want to
be. It's not who I really am. So when he showed up the last time I just took
him in my arms and told him to stay as long as he wanted to. Nothing really
has happened between us, but he's staying here." She paused for a moment. "I
'm not sure how he feels for me, but I know I love him, and I don 't want to
do anything to push him away again."
Hilde nodded. At that moment, Heero entered. Relena and Hilde rose from their chairs to greet him. He looked at Hilde and Relena, and though his face didn't show it, his eyes told her he was surprised to see her.
"Hilde."
"Hi Heero. How are you doing?" "Fine." They all stood for a moment in an
awkward silence, that Hilde finally broke. "I came here to talk to you. It
shouldn't take long, but I need to speak to you. In private." Relena looked
at Hilde. "Well, I'll leave you two alone, then," she said cheerfully as she
left the room.
Hilde and Heero stood staring at each other once Relena left. Finally Heero spoke. "I didn't expect to see you." "I didn't expect that I would come here," Hilde replied. They sat down on chairs across from each other.
"Heero, I have to tell you something." She breathed deeply and looked up at the ceiling, the gold and green patterns intertwined. "I'm pregnant." She looked him in the eyes. At first he just stared back, and then his eyes grew wide. "You mean?" She shook her head. "I don't know who the father is." Silence flooded the room and Hilde felt she would drown in it. "Heero," she gasped, surprised she had been holding her breath. "If the child is yours, I want you to be involved in the child's life. I don't want to shut you out just because I'm with Duo."
He reached over and took her hand. "How is Duo taking this?" "I don't know. He says he's fine but I really don't know." More silence. "Does Relena-" "I didn't tell her I was pregnant. Did you tell her about us?" Heero shook his head.
After another awkward moment Hilde stood up. "Well, I think I'll be going. I told Duo I'd be gone only two days, so I'll get a shuttle out in the morning." "Where are you staying?" "I'm at a hotel. I didn't want to intrude on you two. Heero, why are you here?" He seemed shocked at her bluntness. "I love her." "I know you do, but does she?" He shook his head. "I don't know how to tell her." Hilde smiled, taking his hand one more time. "Then show her." Heero suddenly embraced Hilde, wrapping his arms around her. She sighed, feeling the familiar weight of his arms. He had held her so often when Duo was in his coma, and then there was that night-that night that started all the trouble. But every time she thought about it, she could only blame both of them, yet she still insisted that in her heart it wasn't a mistake. There was just something about that time, about him.
Relena watched from the shadows of the hallway. She hadn't heard the conversation but had just walked back in time to see the embrace. She was going to invite Hilde to dinner but now she had second thoughts as Hilde walked away, opposite of her, and she glanced at Heero. Heero was still looking at Hilde.
Relena coughed and walked into the room. Heero turned to her. "Heero, I saw you holding Hilde. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to walk back so soon-" "Don't worry about it." He sat down on the couch. "Relena, come here." She obeyed and sat down beside him on the couch, her heart racing. She hadn 't sat this close to him in a long time.
"Relena, I have something hard to tell you. Before I came here, I was with Hilde. I was looking out for her, but something happened, and we ended up together. I can't explain it any better than that. I don't have any feelings for her romantically, and it was just that night. Duo knows about it now. Hilde came to tell me that-" he drew in a deep breath and looked at Relena, who was listening intently, her eyes showing concern. "She came to tell me that she's pregnant. She doesn't know who the father is."
Relena's mouth dropped open for a moment but she quickly shut it. "Heero, I 'm glad you told me. I hope Hilde's ok." She looked away. "It must be so hard for her-maybe somehow I can help her."
Heero reached up and touched her chin, drawing her gaze back towards his. He looked at her with amazement. He thought she would be upset, or jealous, or something. Instead, she was showing genuine concern for him, and sympathy for Hilde. Something within him began to well up as he realized how absolutely wonderful the person was next to him. She still amazed him at times, when he couldn't understand someone with her background not being selfish.
She smiled a little at him, getting goose bumps from his touch. Suddenly she realized she had to ask him something. "Heero, I shouldn't ask this, but I want to know-how was it, with Hilde? Did you genuinely have any feeling for her?"
Heero leaned back. "I did have feelings for her-it was a wanting to protect her, to hold her, and it was easy to get confused. That night was beautiful. But-" "But what?" Relena asked, urging him to continue, though his words were sharp as needles. "She wasn't you."
Relena raised her hand to cover her mouth as a sob escaped. She didn't realize that the tears had been rising but now they let out. Heero wrapped his arms around her and held her tight to his chest. She slowly moved her arms around him. He loved her, he really did, and now she knew. In her heart she had already forgiven him for whatever happened with Hilde.
*****
Hilde arrived at home in the late afternoon. Her flight had been delayed
and she cursed as she dropped her keys before the door. She finally got the
door unlocked and threw her keys down, plopping down on the couch.
"So, did you see him?"
Hilde turned and smiled. Duo was standing in the doorway of the kitchen,
with anything but a smile on his face. Hers soon faded. "Yes. Duo, is
something wrong?" He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, that depends.
How was seeing him?"
She rolled her eyes. "Duo, don't give me this jealousy crap again. There's nothing between us." "Yeah, but how long will things stay that way? What if this child is his? Hilde, I can't share you and that's what I'd have to do." "Duo, please cut it out. You know damn well I love you." "Do I?"
At this, Hilde flew into a rage. "Damn you, Duo! I've loved you since the moment I first met you, when we were still trying to kill each other! I almost died when you got shot. We've been through this before and I am sick and tired of having to prove to you I love you. I made a mistake and I said I was sorry to you. You said you forgave me but I can see you really haven' t." Duo said nothing but just stared at her with his death glare.
She rose from the couch. "Forget it, Duo. Just forget it." She grabbed her bag and climbed the stairs up to her room. She hadn't slept in her own bed since Duo had come back but she wasn't going to sleep in it now. She began shuffling things around in her bag to fit more stuff. She finished packing the essentials and started back down the stairs.
Duo was waiting for her in the living room. "You're leaving?" "Yeah. I'm sick of this, Duo. I love you but you refuse to see it and I can't stay here anymore." "Are you going to him?" At that she slapped him. Then she took a step back. "Duo, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you. I'd better go." He said nothing more as she walked out the door. He stood staring at the door long after she left, shocked that she had actually done it.