Disclaimer: Don't own a thing



Disclaimer: Don't own a thing. But someday, when my prayers are answered . . .

Comments, criticism, and flames (I'll take anything) are always welcome! E-mail me at

Bluefire_7@yahoo.com pretty please with fudge doodles and strawberries! (What is a fudge doodle?)

Cold Season

Part 1: The Office




All heads in Preventers headquarters snapped towards the source of the explosion: an embarrassed looking Quatre Winner. Then they turned back to work.

"Aaaachooo! *hack , hack, cough, wheeze* Aaaachooo!"

The second explosion burst from the opposite end of the office, from a grinning Duo Maxwell, who was simultaneously trying to wipe his nose on his sleeve and copy papers at the same time.

Sally burst through the main doors as soon as the clock hit 7:05, just like she did every morning, even if she had been in her office doing paper work that Wu Fei had left to "the onna" all night ( AN: I'm still not sure how she manages to get from her office to the main doors every morning . . .)

"Achoo! Achoo!"

Wu Fei's sneezes were cuter than Quatre's and Duo's, and they immediately attracted Sally's attention. Of course, that was when the entire floor noticed what Sally was wearing.

"Who needs cough medicine?" she asked cheerily with a smile, strapping on her rubber surgical gloves and protective head covering. The rest of her body was already adorned in secure rubber suit, and her gas mask was effectively filtering out all germs in the air.

Duo's eyes got big (AN: how can they get any bigger?), and he poised to flee. Quatre considered his options: running in the same direction Duo went, hiding underneath his desk, or fainting. He took fainting. Wu Fei glared at Sally and then glanced at the door with a hopeful look.

"No one needs any medicine here, Sal," Duo chuckled nervously as he edged towards a window, even though they were on the ninth floor.

"I don't know, Duo. I think you look like you could use a few teaspoons of this yummy licorice tasting syrup, which is loaded with alcohol and sedatives, don't you think? " Sally's smile grew broader. Her eyes looked a little glazed.

Everyone around her shrank back in fear. They knew what was making Sally act like this. It was an annual event, that happened every year during the . . . (bu da bump . . .) COLD SEASON!!!

Because of annual season conditions (i.e. everyone in the office has a cold and the air is filled with incessant coughing, hacking, and sneezing among other things) the Major Sally PO eventually loses her sanity for about one month, causing little to drastic amounts of damage, depending on if anyone could lock her up or not. Today is the first day of that season, as evident by the fact that Sally is only trying to give the offenders of office peace cough syrup, and not some other things she's tried in the past . . .

Wu Fei, like many others in the office, suspected that, at the moment, Sally had drunken several bottles of Dimetapp already, and was a bit tipsy.

"Sally, please sit down," he soothed, attempting to avoid any mishaps. "Aaah. . . aaah…" he tried desperately, by shoving his fingers beneath his nose, to stall the oncoming sneeze, to no avail. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaachooooooooooo!"

After all the papers had stopped blowing around the office from the force of the sneeze, and everyone could stand again, Sally laughed triumphantly from behind her germ-secure mask. "You know you need my Robitussin M.D., Wufei! Don't try and deny it any longer!" Sally's laugh turned maniacal and a few people slowly edged away from her.

Off in one corner, Duo was hastily trying to formulate a plan and save all the cold victims in the office. Or else, just like every year, Sally would force them to take the evil . . .*shudder* Cough Syrup! (And we all know how nasty that stuff tastes, right?)

Sally was closing in on Wufei as he tried to surpress yet another cute sneeze. "Please, onna," he pleaded, "I need no more medicine! I swear it to you on Nataku's honor!"

Think fast, Duo , think fast. Duo tapped one finger to his chin in concentration. "Ah ha!" he burst out suddenly. "I've got it!"

"Uh, Duo, did Sally already give you cough syrup?" Quatre asked from a nearby desk he was hiding under, letting out a nervous chuckle.

"No. And I know how we can get rid of Sally for the rest of the cold season!" Duo turned into a little chibi and started to dance around his desk, letting out a few chibi "Aaachoos!" while he was at it.

"Yay!" Quatre cheered. Everyone gave him a funny look before turning their attention back to Sally. ( Think of it this way, if he had been a chibi and yelled "yay!" everyone would have marveled at how adorable it was. But he wasn't a chibi here, he was a grown man, which just makes it kind of messed up.)

Suddenly, Duo leaped out from behind the copy machine and rushed towards Sally. She laughed as he came. "You'll never get my cough syrup, Duo Maxwell!" She cried.

But she was wrong. Duo lunged forward and tripped Sally on her own oxygen supply cord, forcing her to release the cough syrup. He ran on past her, the other co-workers crying his name in a victory chant.

Suddenly, a shadow descended over the office. Everyone froze. They knew what that meant.

The door to Lady Une's office flew open, making a thunder sound (she had it specially added to the blueprints of the building) and a whole bunch of paper started to fly out of the darkened room beyond. There was a loud drum roll and blue fog started to pour out as well.

And finally, the lady herself arrived, wearing her infamous glasses.

"I thought we burned those," Heero whispered to himself.

"What is all this RACKET!?!" she roared, waving her rose scepter in one hand.

"Nothing Ms. Une," the co-workers replied dutifully.

"Good," she snapped. "Now GET BACK TO WORK!"

"Yes Ma'am!" the frightened co-workers replied in unison. The door banged shut behind the Lady again, and there was a unison sigh of relief.

Sally straightened up as soon as the door was shut, eyes darting around the maze of cubicles to hopefully catch glimpse of the evil Shingami who had stolen her prized cough syrup. But he had already left the Preventers floor, and was, even as she searched, traveling down the elevators to freedom beyond.

~End Part 1~

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