Super Heroes

by Bluefire

Disclaimer: I am sick of writing discalimers. If I owned the g-boys, "Gundam Wing" would be a sitcom. And Wufei would have a really choppy accent (He is from China, right? Shouldn't he have an accent?) and get mad when no one understands him. And Trowa would have a voice, and Heero would get new clothes. (How does he hide a gun in those shorts? Something to think about.) I think I've made my point.

Warnings: Humor, Character Bashing at it's finest, suger highs, a screeching Relena, what more could ya' ask for? Oh yeah, and "constructive critisicm" is always allowed, and if you flame me I'll probably cling to you like Relena does to Heero for my revenge. After all, "I will kill you " is such a turn on.

A.C. 197

Wufei peered at the pixy dust curiously. "I have never seen its likeness," he murmured, pouring it from one hand to another.

"It's pixy dust," Duo explained, tearing open another stick and pouring it into his mouth.

"And you eat it?" Wufei pinched some between his thumb and forefinger.

"Yup. Vewy goo." Duo's mouth was spilling over with the stuff. Wufei reached up his fingers and cautiously sprinkled some onto his tongue. His eyes widened, and he dumped the rest into his mouth. He reached for another stick and tore it open.

"Whoa... slow down there buddy. I don't know if you're ready to have your virginal stomach tested with you first sugar high," Duo cautioned.

"Pixy Styx!" Quatre yelled, running into the living room. Wufei ignored him and crammed yet another sugary handful into his mouth. Duo handed the blond pilot a handful of Styx.

"Been to the goodwill lately?" Duo asked as he tore open another pixy stik.

"Hmm?" Quatre asked with a full mouth.

"Nothing," Duo grinned.

"More," Wufei demanded, holding out his hand.

"Ok. Don't blame me for how you act later," Duo gave him a few more Styx. Trowa walked into the room, a book in hand, and looked at them.

"Pixy stiks!" Quatre told him, offering a stik to the taller boy. Trowa raised an eyebrow and left the room.

"That guy doesn't talk enough," Duo commented with a shake of his head.

"More!" Wufei demanded once more, hand outstretched.

"Here," Duo gave him more of the sugar.

"I feel alive!" Wufei yelled suddenly, jumping to his feet.

"Oh my..." Duo groaned, slapping a hand to his forehead. "I should never have introduced you to candy."

"Who's she?" Wufei asked, laughing. 'Laughing?!' Duo thought in shock.

"I think one of my sisters names is Candy," Quatre thought hard.

"Maybe two, since you have so many! Your father is the pagan god of fertility!" Wufei jumped up on the sofa. "Whee!" he fell into the soft cushions.

"The end is near," Duo intoned softly.

"Then let's par-tay!" Wufei yelled, standing on the sofa once more. He reached for a thin blanket that was draped over the sofa and put it around his shoulders, tying it as a cape.

"Heaven save us all," Duo whispered, eyes wide.

"Ooh! I wanna' be a superhero too!" Quatre jumped up excitedly.

"I am the supreme super hero. There can be none other," Wufei told him coldly. A moment later, he sprinted past and jumped around like he was going to fly. "I am the Supreme!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, a moment before falling down in a spasm of...laughter? "I am exhilarated," he wheezed out.

"I wanna' be a super hero too!" Quatre stamped his foot. "Can't I at least be your sidekick?"

"I suppose," Wufei said, over-arrogantly, if that was possible. He tilted his chin up high in the air. "You may be... the young blond boy who follows me."

"That's an awfully long name," Quatre frowned. He brightened some. "Let’s go fight some bad guys!"

"Whoosh!" Wufei yelled, flailing his arms and "flying" by.

Duo put his head in his hands and began to sob as Wufei and Quatre "flew" by.

Heero was walking nonchalantly down the hall when Wufei and Quatre "flew" up the hall. Wufei stopped and eyed Heero curiously. Heero raised an eyebrow as Wufei examined the brown-haired pilot.

"We have found our bad guy," Wufei declared. Quatre nodded vigorously in agreement. Heero now raised both eyebrows.

"Okay man. That's great." He tried to step around Wufei, but the black haired pilot stopped him.

"You-are-a-bad-guy," he enunciated each word carefully.

"And you-are-insane," Heero attempted to pass by once more.

"We must fly now," the Supreme Super hero declared proudly. Quatre's eyes shone with a feverish light that can only be caused by the magic pixy dust.

He and Wufei flew past Heero, who stood staring at them as they left.

"We will conquer the world!" Wufei screamed, jumping up high in the air. They were headed on a direct flight to the indoor swimming pool.

* * *

Trowa looked up from the bottom of the swimming pool. Slowly, he surfaced. A faint buzzing noise was around him.

"Whoosh! Whoosh!"

He only had time to raise his hands in protection before Wufei and Quatre crashed down on him.

"You will be vanquished, foul villain!" Wufei cried after he raised his dripping head from the water. Trowa stared at him.

"What about the damsel in distress?" Quatre asked suddenly, looking worried.

"We will save her," Wufei declared like he was taking a solemn oath. After all, being a superhero was a serious thing to commit to. "I swear, on the blessed dust of pixy, that we shall save her!"

"And I swear with you!" Quatre declared. They both placed their fists to their chests and bowed their heads solemnly. Trowa stared at them.

"Should I ask?" he asked.

"No!" they both cried.

"Up, up and away!" Wufei commanded, leaping from the pool. "Follow me, young blonde boy who follows me!"

"I wanna' be platinum boy!" Quatre whined as he and Wufei zoomed away from the pool.

Trowa stood in the pool, dumbfounded.

* * *

"You are the blond boy who follows me," Wufei stated firmly as they flew through the halls of the Peacecraft mansion.

"I wanna' be platinum Boy!" Quatre wiped away tears from his eyes as they ran.

"You are the young blonde boy who follows me!" Wufei yelled.

"I'm Platinum Boy!" Quatre cried.

"Fine. You are young Platinum Boy who follows me," Wufei determined.

"Okay!" Quatre yelled excitedly.

"Now, where is our damsel in distress?" Wufei stopped flying to look around.

At the other end of the hallway, Relena appeared suddenly.

"Damsel! Halt!" Wufei put forth a hand to stop her.

"We have to save you!" Quatre squeaked.

"Um... alright..." Relena's eyes darted around to find someone sane. Wufei and Quatre zoomed up to her. To her shock, Wufei picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. She let out a surprised squeal.

"You are saved!" Wufei cried, flying down the hall with her.

"Heero!" she cried.

"Do not call that villains name! I have defeated him!" Wufei screamed as he flew.

"And I helped!" Quatre reminded, flying behind them.

"Heee-rroooo!" Relena screamed.

"Cease your annoying vocals!" Wufei ordered. "Be silent, damsel!"

"Heeee-eeee-rrr-rrooo-ooo!"

* * *

"My head aches," Wufei moaned, massaging his temples.

"I'm going to be taking aspirin for a week," Quatre groaned, flopping down on the sofa. Duo smirked at them both.

"Well, the life of a superhero can be hellish sometimes, can't it?" his smirk grew. " Especially when you're beaten up by the bodyguard of the damsel in distress.

"Shut up!" Wufei roared. "I will vanquish you, evil villain!" he snapped his mouth shut, realizing what he had said.

"Apparently, the pixy magic is still affecting you. I should leave before you start flying again."

"Die!" Wufei growled. "You're weak!"

Duo looked shocked. "Why, of course. I could never be stronger than a superhero."

Wufei rose from the sofa and prepared to kill him.

~owari~