The Golden Bird
Disclamer: Don't own Gundam Wing
I stand alone in the camp. I’m surrounded by people
yet I’m alone. I hack endlessly at the dry ground,
praying to find what they want. Then I realize they
don’t want anything. They want to me and the
rest of my comrades. They want us to suffer. I wonder
why. It doesn’t make sense. But what does make sense
anymore? Nothing is clear to me as it used to be.
Now we’re back to the small cabin where we are being
held prisoner. Prisoner of War. Thes and I are
all tired. Hilde glances at me.
"Relena?"
"What?" I answer her and look back at her. She looks
like me deep circles under her eyes from no sleep,
gaunt from malnutrition and pale from the cold. Icy
bitter cold shattering the world around us, making our
teeth click as we try to break the surface of the
ground. I shudder as I remove what I can barely call a
shoe, and my foot hits the icy cement floor.
"They say…" She speaks slowly for she can barely get
out the words, "That we will have a new roommate." I
look around. I see the other s, three of them all
almost sleeping. The frosty silence left between us is
soon shattered by our door bursting open. In stepped
two men in matching uniforms, looking at us. We all
stand to attention, awaiting their bitter yells as
they leave the door open. The wind chills our very
bones but we do not bother to flinch.
"This is your new roommate," one barks, shoving
forward an already pale , "Show her where she will
sleep." They left, slamming the door.
We stare at her for a moment. Her hair is in a limp
ponytail, with several strands hanging down her face.
"What?" she asks. She thinks we are staring at her. We
are, but we do not tell her that. The other three went
to sleep. Hilde’s bunk was next to mine. She sat on
it, looking into the ’s eyes.
"What is your name, little one?" she asks the little
.
"I’m not little. I’m thirteen years old. They call me
Phoenix. What do they call you?"
"They call me Hilde. That’s Relena." Hilde gestured
towards me.
"The bunk above mine is open," I say to her, offering
her the last bed in the room, because I know there
won’t be another. She just nods and climbs up in order
to collapse upon it. Soon she along with the rest of
the room falls asleep. All but me. I lay awake, for a
reason unknown to me. I can feel the thin cotton of
the gray sheets, see the dim walls, and feel my thin
clothes, barely draped over my shoulder. It’s all I
can do to stay awake. Phoenix was strange. She was
defensive of herself. I had a feeling that would be
what got her into trouble. I don’t know whether or not
I’ll be right. The cruel torment of these men never
ceases, they will not rest until they have every last
bit of joy out of torturing us. I finally drift into
the blackness of sleep wondering what the new day will
bring.
~~~~~~~~~
"Relena!" called a gruff voice. I try to pay no
attention. Whenever I have name to one of these
soldiers it means something bad. If I can’t "hear"
them they can’t hurt me.
"RELENA!" repeated the voice. It was angry now.
"You rang?" I say, then wishing I hadn’t. I made his
eyes flare and his face turn red. He was angrier.
"Phoenix, has told me something."
"Really?" I answer trying to sound casual. Inside my
mind raced. How had Phoenix found out? She had only
been there one night. How did she know?
"Yes. She told me that you were nice to her." I
breathed an inaudible sigh of relief. She didn’t know.
Nobody knew my secret. Yet.
~~~~~~~~
"I’m going to get in so much trouble if they find
out." I sighed.
"I know," he said, stroking my hair, "But so will I."
"You can’t get in trouble. They’ll think you did it as
."
"The way we have to live is ."
"I wish they would decide if they want me alive or
."
"I know. So do I."
"Would you try and keep them from me?"
"I have been," he answered, his eyes staring off into
the dark sky. I looked up at him, wondering why it had
to be this way. Why we had to meet in secret. Why we
were stuck like this. Why he hadn’t turned me in yet.
"Aishiteru, Relena."
"Aishiteru." Then he was gone.
~~~~~~~~
It was the next day. No one but Hilde knew about my
nightly disappearances. She didn’t want to know, but I
told her anyway. I felt like if I didn’t, I would
explode.
"They’ll kill you if they find out about this you
know."
"I don’t care," I answered, "If they do find out then
my agony will be over. It makes no difference
anymore."
"We’re going to get out of here Relena. The war is
going to end. You and him are going to be happy and be
together and never have to let go and I’ll be smiling.
Smiling for you."
"Someone around here needs to smile." Phoenix was
behind us.
I whirled "How much did you hear?" I demanded.
"Enough. Enough to get you out of here."
Hilde’s mouth fell. "You wouldn’t."
"You’re right. I wouldn’t. And there’s a reason." Our
expectant silence made her keep talking, "Two nights
ago I was here for the first time. But after the
guards left you all pretty much fell over and slept
like the . But you Relena, and you Hilde talked to
me, learned my name, told me yours and offered a place
for me to sleep. Let this be a lesson to you. Kindness
doesn’t fail with me or human beings. Which would
explain why those idiots that watch us don’t fall into
the category of human."
We all smiled for the first time in a long time. Then
we went out to work. Phoenix was alongside us, humming
a little tune.
"What are you humming?" asked Hilde.
"It’s a song that I learned at church. It’s called
‘Shout to the Lord’. Do you want to know it?"
She and I nodded in agreement. Soon we knew it and
were singing.
"My Jesus
My savior
Lord there is none like you
All of my days I want to praise
The wonders of your mighty love
My comfort My shelter
Tower of Refuge and Strength
Let every breath
All that I am
Never cease to worship you"
Then in came the chorus
"Shout to the Lord All the earth let us sing
Power and Majesty praise to the king
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
at the sound of your name
I sing for joy at the work of your hands
Forever I’ll love you forever I’ll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You"
We kept singing the same song. Some of the others
picked it up and sung at the chorus sometimes. Others
yelled at us to shut up before we got them all in
trouble. Others pretended not to hear and shut out all
of the noises around them.
The men that guarded us did nothing. They seemed
indifferent like the others around us. It surprised me
a little but Phoenix did not seem to care.
Later that night, Phoenix taught us more songs. She
was not critical. She taught us the words and the
tune. We took it from there. She sang the descant. She
had a lovely soprano voice that I felt angels would
envy. Nothing could have made me smile more than to
hear her sing. I wished that it would never end. We
sang during the day and the work went by faster. All
the while Phoenix was the loveliest her voice being
like a shining star in the gray camp.
It was as ideal as it gets when you are a prisoner of
war. Things had to get worse. And they did.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was late again. I was with him. He was holding me
and whispering.
"I miss you."
"And I you."
"I wish this stupid war would end."
"War never solves anything." I looked into his eyes.
Those eyes those blue eyes that held me suspending
reality for only an instant then telling me I was
loved. He hugged me one more.
"Ja ne."
"Bye, Heero."
~~~~~~~~~~
"Phoenix!" called the voice. Phoenix stepped out of
the line. A guard held her arms behind her and the
whole camp was present.
"Sir?" Phoenix’s eyes pierced, "What do I owe this
visit?"
"You must tell us the answer."
"The answer will be given in due time."
The guard sighed. "Let her go. She’s no good to us
. The rest of you! To work!" The ordered was barked to
the point of which we ran to the edge. Heero was one
of the guards watching us. His eyes, the same that had
suspended my reality only hours earlier had grown
cold, his expression stony. I knew that was his
soldier face. He used to do it in the middle of a
funny conversation and it would make me laugh. Now it
just reminds me that he is one of them by day. Phoenix
came over to me.
"I must tell you the answer." Her whisper was barely
audible.
"What is the question?"
"Never mind. I feel that something bad is going to
happen to me. If what I feel is true, then we will
never be free. That is why you must know the answer. I
will give it to you after work. Do not open it. Just
hold on to it. Tell no one. It is vital to the fate of
these s that you keep the answer a secret. Someday
they will ask you for it. Do not give it to them. Open
it after they ask you. Then you will understand and
know what to do. Not before." All I could do was nod.
The day dragged on slower, for not even Phoenix wanted
to sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was early. Too early. Yet we were being awoken. I
noticed that Phoenix wasn’t walking with us. Phoenix
wasn’t in the cabin. Why not?
We were lined up as always before work. Phoenix was
back. She was being held by the arms again, protesting
as they led her up the hill to where they stood. One
eye was black.
"Phoenix. What is the answer?"
"I would never tell a pig like you. You are a coward
to say the least."
"Guards hold her." The other guard began to hit her in
the stomach.
"You are a true coward. You have your," she grunted as
he hit her stomach again, "Minions hold me while you
beat me. Why is that? Are you afraid you’ll lose if
you don’t hold me?" Another groan. Phoenix gritted her
teeth, "You have to hold me because you’re afraid
you’ll lose to a thirteen year old . That’s it.
You call yourself a soldier but that is a lie. You are
nothing but a coward. You’re a Mama’s Boy."
"Stop!"
"MAMA’S BOY! MAMA’S BOY!" she kept yelling.
"LET HER GO!" the guard roared. The others obliged
afraid of what would happen.
"So you aren’t afraid anymore." Phoenix jumped from
foot to foot switching her weight rapidly. She blocked
his first hit and his second. She managed to knock him
down.
The next thing seemed to happen in slow motion. The
guard rose and drew his gun. Phoenix kept hopping. Her
eyes grew wide for a moment as a gunshot ed
through the silence. She fell to the ground clutching
her stomach. Heero’s perfect soldier face fell into a
shocked open-mouthed grimace. Phoenix lay on the
ground, spurting from her stomach. I gasp in
shock. Phoenix was . She was wide-eyed on the
ground, her hands limp at her side. At last there was
color in the camp. But it is red. The camp was stained
with Phoenix’s .
And the bed, that I thought would never be empty
again, was.
~~~~~~~~~
Nearly a month later I was called over by the same
guard that had killed Phoenix. My eyes pierced his,
cold and ful at the crime he committed against all
of us.
"What do you want?"
"Do you have the answer?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"You have the answer."
"No."
"That was a statement not a question."
"I have it."
"Good. What is it?"
"I would never tell a scum like you."
"GET OUT! YOU ARE WORSE THAN THAT PHOENIX !!! GET
OUT BEFORE I KILL YOU LIKE I KILLED HER!!!"
"YOU ARE MORE DISHONORABLE THAN ALL THE REST OF THE
WORLD PUT TOGETHER!!"
I then ran from where we were standing. Just in time
to miss dinner. Excellent.
I went back to the cabin and opened the sheet of
paper.
" Now you know, he was after it. You are meeting him
tonight are you not?" The note started talking about
Heero, "He is a boy with broken wings. He will risk
his life to save you and Hilde. You and Hilde must get
out. Your angel will help you. He will know what to
do. You must ask. He is the answer."
Heero? Heero was the answer? That’s inconceivable. How
could he be the answer?
"She always seemed to know what would happens before
it happened didn’t she?" said a voice. It was Hilde,
"Do you really think he is the answer?"
"I will do what it says. Phoenix died to protect us
and we must not shame her memory. I will go to him and
ask."
I don’t know what possessed me to do it. But it was
too late to stop now.
"Heero, I need to ask your help."
"What is it angel?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You two must be silent. He wakes easily, but
hopefully not very." Heero was helping them sneak past
the night guard. He was asleep. Heero, Hilde and I
crept over to the Jeep. Heero almost inaudibly turned
the key. The engine started and instinctively I looked
back. He was still asleep.
"Thank the Saints," I muttered. Heero began driving.
We went down a long road that wound. Hilde’s head fell
onto my shoulder and lolled around. She was sleeping.
"Relena?" Heero asked, once we were out of sight of
the base.
"Hm?" I was almost asleep.
"Why did you ask for my help?"
"The Golden Bird" I murmured. Then sleep overtook me.
I awoke and groaned only to find Heero’s jacket on me.
It took me a few moments to realize I wasn’t in the
camp anymore. That I had made it out.
"Heero?"
"Hn."
"Where are we?" I felt the wind in my hair.
"We are out."
That was all I needed. I fell back asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~
We did end up freeing the others later. It has
been five years since the incident where we escaped.
Heero and I married shortly after the war ended three
years later. We have a four month old daughter. Hilde
and Heero’s friend Duo were perfectly matched. They
were engaged to be married in June.
Most of the people I met after the war are married or
engaged. Some of thes from the camp were married
to people I knew. My own brother, Milliardo, is
engaged to marry Lucrezia Noin.
Our daughter’s name? Phoenix. The Golden Bird that
rescued me. I thank her to this day having placed a
small memorial to her in the graveyard near our house.
Someday I will tell my daughter the tale of her name.
And she will know the real reason her mother is alive.